


If you ever come back

by FantasistFuturist



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Tony screws up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-29 11:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasistFuturist/pseuds/FantasistFuturist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His hand tightened its grip on the rough fabric handles of his suitcase as he turned around to give the place he had been so happy for so long a once over. A long quiet sigh was heaved through parted lips as the vivid memories floated into his mind; the laughs, the jokes- him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is another fic based on a song. This will be multiple chapters and I just really hope you enjoy it. The song it's based on is If you ever came back from The script. Obviously it won't be exactly like the song- I guess it's more of an inspiration of this fic. Anyways I will most likely update every two days. Please leave your comments and whatnot. :D

His hand tightened its grip on the rough fabric handle of his suitcase as he turned around to give the place he had been so happy in a long once-over. A quiet sigh was heaved through parted lips as the vivid memories floated into his mind; the laughs, the jokes- him. It wouldn’t surprise the doctor if Tony was still down in the shop, probably rummaging through his drawers looking to find a bottle of his poison. With a slight shake of his head and one more look at the lounge, he brought his hand to the silver panel next to elevator doors and pressed the lit up button. As soon as the large metal doors opened, he entered the elevator, his eyes darting around the small room to avoid looking at the lounge as the doors slowly closed.

It had been another of the many fights they had, but things were said that were never meant to be said. Things were done that were never meant to be done. It just wasn’t a brief argument of how Bruce needed to learn to live with the other guy, and it just wasn’t another stern talk about how Tony needed to learn some self-preservation. No. It had been all of that and more. And it had all started with Tony hitting the vino as per usual, and being the ass he was such an expert at being.

_Tony had arrived and turned up the music loudly, a wide grin on his face as the alcohol coursed through his veins. As soon as he saw Bruce, he threw his arms around his neck, a few slurred words escaping him as he leaned in to kiss Bruce. Bruce felt his stomach churn slightly as Tony's arms wrapped around him, not wanting to deal with more drinking and more stupidity and more memories of watching his mother deal with knuckles and broken bottles and the bruising imprint of her own husband's wedding ring on her cheekbone. On her son's cheekbone._

_"Tony-" Bruce murmured, closing his eyes and shaking his head, his arms hanging at his sides. "Just, get off me. Please."_

_The feeling of Tony's lips on his neck didn't faze him like it usually did, and Bruce tilted his face away from the engineer's, feeling the tart fumes of alcohol fanning across his neck and making his nose crinkle._

_"Tony, please. I'm not in the mood. Now get off." Bruce repeated his words, hands now lifting to gently press at Tony's chest, separating them slightly with the billionaire's arms around his neck._

_"C'mon, I just need some lovin'." He said, slightly stepping back as he felt the doctor's hand on his chest, pushing back. Was he really pushing him away or was it his imagination? The alcohol always decided to mess with him in the worst ways, but honestly that's all he wanted. To just be with Bruce for a while._

_"I couldn't stop thinking about you. Didn't you miss me a bit?" He asks with a mocking expression of offence. Even drunk he was a sarcastic ass. And talking about asses- being the hard headed ass that he was he leaned in before smashing his lips against Bruce's in a messy kiss, hands gripping his arms._

_"To-" Their lips met and Bruce felt his defenses kick in, he tore one of his arms away from Tony's grasp and gave the other man a moderate shove against his chest, putting about a half-foot between them. Letting out a short cough, Bruce wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, staring Tony down with a stern look._

_"I said," He started, holding a hand out. "Get. Off. And stay off. I'm not doing this tonight."_

_Bruce said, gesturing a hand between them. The playboy stumbled backwards at the harder shove he had received from Bruce. He wasn't expecting Bruce to react like that, not in that manner. And honestly, he had no idea why he was acting this way, because even as drunk as he was he noticed the bite in Bruce's voice._

_"What the hell is your problem?" Tony asked, looking at Bruce though he slightly swayed from all the alcohol in his system. The more time passed the harder it was becoming to stay balanced._

_“What my problem is you- coming home like this? I’ve told you many times before I hate when you drink.”_

_“Oh come on- it was just a few martinis-“ Bruce held his hand up, stopping the billionaire from talking. He let out a dry laugh and shook his head, “A few martinis? Really? I highly doubt it Tony.”_

_“Why does it bug you that I drink so much, huh? I can do whatever the hell I want.” Tony said, moving to lean against the shop wall._

_“Because I can’t watch someone I love slowly kill themselves and lose their dignity bit by bit. Tony, you have a problem- and you don’t notice it but it affects you and everyone around you.” Bruce replied, keeping his distance from the inebriated billionaire, his arms crossed over his chest firmly._

_“I’ve heard it all before, Bruce. ‘Oh, Tony, you can’t build an arc reactor for your liver’…”_

_“Then that just proves my point more. It just proves I’m not the first person to notice it and be affected by it, and I most definitely won’t be the last.”_

_“Do you really care about the whole ‘self-preservation’ shit? Because honestly, I see that as you being a total hypocrite.”_

_“A hypocrite?” Bruce asked with raised eyebrows- eyes behind glasses, looking at Tony with a bit of surprise._

_“Yeah. A total hypocrite. What was it I caught you doing last time? Oh yeah- an experiment to ‘restrain’ the other guy.”_

_“Tony, that’s completely different. You and I both know it’s far better that way.”_

_Tony snorted loudly and shook his head. “I know nothing. And I had JARVIS open the files to me… I saw the side effects and the possible irreversible ones. Coma, brain damage- if anyone here is hurting themselves, it’s you- not me.”_

_“Listen, Stark, I’m not going to talk about this when you are completely hammered.” His voice hid a bit of a bite and under his skin he could feel the other guy waking up- and it wouldn’t surprise him if his eyes had turned a shade of green._

_Tony noticed the greenish in his eyes and he sneered, “Let him out- I bet he’s more reasonable than you. Besides, I’m fine- just a few drinks. I told you before. Whatever, Banner- you’re just overreacting.”_

_The way Tony’s voice showed no sign of caring of how Bruce felt made the blood in his veins boil with anger. Anger of how he thought Tony cared about him but it didn’t show, anger of how he couldn’t stop someone he loved from slowly destroying themselves, anger because it reminded him of his past._

_“You want to see overreacting?” Bruce said moving closer to Tony, anger vibrating in his voice as he grabbed Tony by the collar of his shirt._

_“What the fuck are you doing?” Tony said, moving his hands to Bruce’s wrists, trying to pry his hands off him._

_“I’m overreacting- what does it look like? Do you want to know why I hate when you drink so much? My da- no. That beast that was with my mom used to beat her drunk- used to beat me.” His voice was shaking with anger now, eyes turning a brighter shade of green with every word. The doctor’s hands tightened their grip before he pushed Tony against the wall- the other guy scratching under his skin, bubbling with readiness to get out. “You think the other guy is some hero because he saved your life? You’re wrong! He’s killed innocent people-“_

_“I don’t believe you! Come on, let him out. Let him out!” Tony taunted, getting really close to Bruce’s face until he could feel the other’s hot breath on him._

_“Let him out.” Tony’s hand let go of Bruce’s wrists and moved them to Bruce’s shirt too, starting to shake him. “Come on- do it.”_

_By this time Bruce’s breath was heavy and his heart rate was increasing with every syllable of Tony’s words, threatening to get higher than 170. He could feel it. The other guy was so close._

_“No.”_

_His voice was low as he let go of Tony’s shirt and pulled away from him. His shoulders rose and fell with every long breath he took- trying to calm down, trying to prevent the other guy from making an appearance. Before Tony could move or say anything else, Bruce headed up the stairs, leaving Tony alone in the shop._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is kind of short but I will upload another one tomorrow. I think the fic may turn into a bit more than five chapters. Hope you enjoy and thank you for taking time to read this.

Bruce’s assumptions had been right, Tony had in fact found one of his many hidden or more like conveniently placed bottles of alcohol around his lab. The billionaire was currently slumped against the wall of his shop, feeling the cooler material of the glass against his back. Though his work scarred hands were clasped tightly around a glass of whiskey, he could not prevent them from trembling from frustration and anger; the surface of the amber bourbon shivered constantly. Bitter tears shimmered in his eyes but he would not let them flow. He was a proud, hard headed man determined to preserve what little self dignity he had left.

Meanwhile Bruce stood in front of a large, lighted up panel with names of many arrivals and destinations of planes from La Guardia airport. His eyes darted across the many destinations, the many places he could escape to but in his mind the letters were getting jumbled up, suddenly spelling out the words that had been said earlier that evening. The yells and bitter remarks echoing in his head like the sound of a bullet being shot of in a metal tank. A quiet sigh escaped the doctor as he finally made himself concentrate on the lighted up words in front of him. _Flight to London. Departure: 11:45_ He knew that if he took that flight, he could catch another one to India- go back to where he had been unknown, helpful for about a year. Something else caught his eye _Flight to Sao Paulo. Departure: 11:00._ Another place he knew like the back of his hand. A place that would be the least suspected for him to run off- after everything that had happened with Ross that is. And at that point Ross wasn't a worry anymore- at least after Fury had promised him to keep him off his back as well as other interested parties. The two options bounced around in his head, mind separating the pros from the cons but all that failed as the billionaire managed to plague his thoughts once again. Maybe he could just go back and say sorry, or give him the silent treatment until Tony caved first. No- this time it wasn't the same. It wasn't just another small spat. He had been so close to letting the other guy out, so close to hurting someone he loved. That was not an option. Not now. Not ever.

 _Come on Bruce. This is just another move. This is nothing new. You should have known this 'happiness' would not of lasted. Just go- start over again._ But see there was no starting over because there was nothing to start. How can you start something when there are so many other things unfinished? How can you start something that you know eventually you'll have to leave? 

He ambled over to the checkout desk of the airport to where a nice young looking woman greeted him, and with a few soft spoken words he bought a ticket to his destination; Sao Paulo. The woman went over all his papers, passports and credit card before handing him the plane ticket. "The flight will be boarding in 50 minutes. Baggage checkout is located over there. It won't take long." With a short nod, Bruce walked over to the baggage checkout. A small hope filled him of turning around to see his- Tony sauntering over with a stupid apologetic smile and carrying something so expensive that they both knew could feed a small country for a week or so. Though he knew that it was fool's hope, he dared turn back only to see a few sleeping people on the airport benches. No Tony. No stupid grin. And most of all no Tony...


	3. Chapter 3

It had been four days since _that_ night. The night where everything fell apart. The night where Tony lost Bruce. And since that night he had alienated himself from everyone and everything, locking himself in his lab with only bottles of Jack to keep him company. He still hadn't slept at all, not that was nothing new except this time there was no important project to keep him up, or some car that needing restoring. It was just his thoughts.

A clang echoed through the shop as he dropped an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor, though it did not shatter. His brown eyes stared off into nothingness, dark rings surrounding them. The rest of the lab was a mess, papers scattered on the floor, broken glasses, tool carts knocked over- just a mess.

An eerie silence filled the shop; the only sounds were of him breathing and the quiet whirring of the machines. It was like he was stuck in a trance, his eyes unblinking though they must have been tired. No sleep at all in four days without coffee and without energy drinks. He didn't want to go upstairs into thei- no _his_ room. He wanted everything to stay the way Bruce had left it the morning of the day he left.

The beeping noise of a keypad being pressed broke the silence, Pepper standing outside the glass door before the code was verified. She entered and gave the shop a once over, carefully stepping over some tools, her heels crunching against some glass shards. She quietly sighed as she caught sight of the billionaire slumped in one of his cars. "Tony…" She was using that 'I'm worried about you' tone as she approached him, clipboard in her arm. "How are you doing?" She asked, looking at him through her long eyelashes. The genius simply gave a short nod in response to her question, as though saying he would eventually get over it. He always did.

"Listen Tony you need to get out of here. I can call the repair crew to come and fix up this place. Have you even eaten?"

After a few short, quiet moments he spoke up, shaking his head slightly, "No...I don't want to." Soon following these words was a sip from his glass earning a sigh from the concerned redhead. Moving to the passenger side of the car, she opened the door and took the bottle of whiskey from it. "Jarvis please lock down all the liquor until Mr. Stark here decides to eat." And she knew something was actually seriously wrong when he didn't complain, or make some comment about her being the CEO of the company not his life. Instead he just gave a relented sigh.

"Come on Tony. Let's go upstairs and get you something to eat then you go rest alright?" She said quietly before pursing her lips as she moved to the driver's side. Opening the door, she gently placed a hand on Tony's shoulder to which he responded by looking up at her and nodding before stepping out. Quietly they made their way to the elevator, her hand still on his shoulder, trying to comfort him somehow. The large, metal doors closed and Pepper pressed the button for Tony's floor. "You'll go into your room, get some food and rest. Got it?" And this usually was the part where Tony made some comment about she was his CEO not his mother, but nothing came out of his mouth. He simply nodded.

"Jarvis you take care of Tony for me alright? I need to head out to Miami tonight."

"Yes Miss Potts. I will try to take care of Sir. Have a nice flight."

"Thank you Jarvis. You take care of yourself too alright? There's only so much Jarvis can do." She said with a soft, friendly voice though the undertone was concerned. To which he simply nodded and waited for her to leave.

His legs carried him back to the bed that was neatly done, the red comforter unwrinkled, untouched. His side had always been the right side, because he hated the sun that came from the left. Bruce didn't mind the left side nor the sun since he always seemed to be up before it rose. The engineer's hand moved over the comforter on Bruce's side, feeling the cool material underneath his calloused hands. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking back to only a few nights before. How could have he been such an idiot?

"Sir, you must eat. Shall I order in food?"

"I 'spose. The usual from the Chinese place. Even what he used to order."

Of course for one the AI knew not to reply with a witty remark, or ask what he meant by 'he' because he knew what his creator was talking about.  
About twenty minutes later a white, plastic bag sat on the counter as Tony padded towards a cabinet to take out two plates. He set them both side by side, serving himself food, but leaving the other empty, but just there.

~~~

The crowded streets of Sao Paolo were perfect camouflage, no one even casting a second glance at the physicist. This was his third day in this city that was constantly buzzing with taxis, and people from all over the world. Similar to New York, yet different. Maybe it was the fact that he felt like he was missing something—not something but someone.

Luckily he had been able to contact some people he met there many years before. And of course they let him stay with them until he found a place for himself. Bruce sighed quietly to himself as he walked down the street, going towards a street market to buy some food to help out around where he was staying. One of the first stands that caught his eye was the tea and herbs. Standing in front of them, he looked over the names, trying to remember the Portuguese he had learned years before. He pointed at the hibiscus, remembering that was the only tea Tony could stand.

_"Come on, it tastes good and it's good for you." Bruce said holding out the cup of tea in direction of the engineer. "No, it smells weird. Besides last time I tried one of your teas I felt like I had licked the bottom of a lawn mower." Bruce rolled his eyes, "Please?" Tony sighed and grabbed the cup, bringing it up to his lips, blowing on the hot liquid before sipping it. Smacking his lips together lightly, he narrowed his eyes, "Okay, you're gonna have to make yourself another cup." The doctor chuckled._

"Quanto?" The vender told him it was about an American dollar for half a pound. Of course Bruce bought some, and few other things before going back to his temporary home.


End file.
